Leaving the Boys for Themselves
by Princess Skye Jewel
Summary: Pepper, Natasha and Jane leave the other Avengers in the tower for their own enjoyment. But things go horrible when the kitchen matters start. But then again, they might see the whole tower upside-down.
1. Chapter 1

**Leaving the Boys for Themselves**

**Summary: Pepper, Natasha and Jane leave the other Avengers in the tower for their own enjoyment. But things go horrible when the kitchen matters start. But then again, they might see the whole tower upside-down.**

"Pepper, sweetie, why are you leaving with the red-hair and Jane?" Tony asked with childlike eyes.

"Well, the girls and I are sick of being stuck up here. We'll be going for a far hotel and staying there for a few weeks" Pepper reasoned.

"But, Tasha," Clint tried to argue.

"You'll be alright. But leave my plants and sour fruits off your insanity" Natasha interrupted.

"Lady Jane, I—" Thor began.

Jane cut him off. "You're a god and can do stuff alone, right?"

With that, 3 exasperated faces came on the three Avengers.

"Tsk tsk," Fury shook his head. "That ain't the way to convince them. Besides, aren't you mature enough to handle this?"

"Well," Steve grinned, "first of all, it's going to be breakfast time. We should whip up something other than the same burnt-egg-and-burnt-bacon"

"How about," Tony smirked, "I'll make sticky, edible ceiling stickers if you want. Extra squidgy and sticky, right?"

"No, Tony! It takes me forever to even scrape half a pancake!" Bruce gasped.

Loki, who was living in Stark Towers, facepalmed. What was he doing with a bunch of people who can't even whip up a dish?

Loki silently approached them and asked. "Do you need a heavy breakfast?"

"Oh yeah! I knew Loki will be chef of the day!" Tony rejoiced.

"No. Just answer my question"

"Hm…a hearty breakfast!" the others replied.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Then make it yourselves. I'm not your father"

But the others stayed put. Nobody can think of a dish.

The trickster god approached the fruit basket, cut up a few sweet fruits and put some condensed milk on it. He disappeared to his room and ate there peacefully.

"But, how—"

"—you're the Avengers! You can slice up cyborgs, aliens and whatnot but you can't slice a fruit?!" Loki sneered.

Bruce, Tony and Steve began to cut away.

Thor, though, was confused. "What is that?" He pointed to a strawberry.

"A strawberry. The real fruit is actually the pips. Very sweet, try one" Loki rolled his eyes.

"Listen to your brother the talking encyclopedia, Thor" Tony chuckled. He was already done, so, with Bruce and Natasha, he sat on a comfy couch.

"But remove the leafy top first" Loki reminded.

He demonstrated how to do it and the leafy top was pulled easily. He popped it into his mouth.

Thor began to twist and turn the leafy top.

Loki was shocked. "That's not a—"

It was too late. Thor had actually opened a strawberry grenade Tony was working on. He had planned to give it to an unsuspecting strawberry-lover.

Now that the strawberry juice was all over, Thor got into berserk mode and roared "This is an incongruous race!" He got his Mjolnir and smashed every strawberry, even the ones which were only a shape of a strawberry, like Natasha's strawberry-themed alarm clock.

"My alarm clock!" they swore they heard an imaginative Natasha gasped.

"The strawberries!" Bruce gaped his mouth.

"The strawberries were supposed to be eaten, not mushed! Attack!" Tony growled.

Little did they know, Loki placed a strawberry while they were brawling. It was an explosive one. He placed on Thor's foot.

"Ah! The worthless race!" He immediately smashed it, and the kitchen was blazing instantly.

"That ain't my grenade! Loki!" Tony glared at the trickster.

Loki grinned, and, with a snap, everything was okay, well except the strawberry juice mess.

"Now get a mop and clean this up" Loki disappeared.

But that wasn't the only trouble.

* * *

"I watch the TV!" Tony growled.

"No! I watched the TV!" Bruce roared.

"Follow him" Clint argued.

"She ain't the owner of this house, Barton!" Tony snapped back.

"You noisy Midgardians!" Thor bellowed. He got his Mjolnir and smashed the TV.

"What."

"The."

"Heck!"

"Sorry," Thor shrugged.

"Again with the mess?" Loki snapped his fingers. "Whatever channel it is on, that will be the channel. I hid the remote"

It was on Tony's channel, much to the archer and scientist's chagrin.

"Aw yeah! It's…" Tony got a little dramatic, "Tech-Talk!"

"The most boring show I've ever—"

"Sshh…" Tony snapped at him.

"Well, I'll go to the kitchen," Clint huffed. "I'll make the suit man and the scientist a banana shake"

Loki grinned. He whispered to Tony "Hey, did you replace the broken top of the large blender?"

"Oh, no, but— Tony realized. "THAT IS NOT A BLENDER TOP! It's a water tank-slash-mixer!" He tried to run to the scene, but then Tech-Talk was discussing about new types of technology. He was glued to the couch.

Bruce, though, was already enjoying the show. "Clint knows better than blend in a broken blender".

* * *

Clint was done cutting up the bananas. He placed them in the blender, overlooking the slit-like slot on the top. "It seems a little watery, but"

He placed it on fast mode—what he thought was super smooth mode. It was so fast, and the shake was spewing off.

"OH NO!" Clint gasped, but the minute he opened his mouth, banana shake heading for him. The plug was hidden, and he without clue. He got his arrows and hit the tank. It didn't miss, but it spewed more banana shake.

Steve came down the stairs and his jaw could've gone all the way to the core of the Earth. "A game, huh?" He got more bananas and ice and, while he was covered in mackintosh, he threw more into the tank.

"Um," Steve got into his sense. "Isn't that the water-tank-slash mixer with the broken top?"

"What?!"

"Oh noes. We better…."

Before Steve could finish, Bruce accidentally turned the tank's knob, thus increasing the water flow. Before everyone knew it, the whole floor was flooded.

"So much for your shake, Barton! Good thing the show was finished!" Tony roared. "JARVIS! Block all exits in this floor!"

When all windows were shut and elevators blocked, it was already making the Avengers float.

"Ick! This is too much banana!" Tony sneered in disgust.

Bruce tried to go Hulk mode to turn the tap back off. But when he did, he was soon sinking.

"Bad idea, Hulkie," Tony sighed. He didn't want to facepalm. His hands were contaminated with too much watery banana juice.

Exasperated, Thor was going crazy. He, with a wet Mjolnir in his hand, smashed the pipe when he dived.

"Oh noes" they all gasped. Bruce already went in his original form, and he immediately stopped the water supply.

"Now let's drain it out the window!" Tony declared.

Bruce checked the outside. No one was lining up, at the moment.

"At the count of three, the windows will be opened. One…two…"

Everybody was already at a specific window.

"…THREE!"

The windows were opened, and banana-water grime was in the streets.

"Yippee, now JARVIIS, clean this place up while we have a bath" Tony grumbled.

Then they noticed the Mjolnir which was blocking the huge hole it made dropping on the floor.

An unsuspecting Steve turned the tap to its highest.

"Steve, can you bring soap here now? Looks like you just made this a bathroom!"

**A/N: I have no idea what I am doing**


	2. Chapter 2

**Leaving the Boys for Themselves**

**Chapter 2—"SHIELD and Pranks"**

**A/N: I have censored the swearing. **

"So?" Tony grinned. "Plans for trolling Fury while the nagginators, AKA the girls, are gone?"

"Spray-paint his eye-patch and clothes pink while he's asleep!" Clint laughed. "His computer, room and other stuff too!"

"Now that is just pure evil!" Tony guffawed. "Let's also hack into the systems and replace the original documents with trolling documents?"

"How'd you do that—actually, I don't wanna know!" Steve hesitated. "But let's give SHIELD some LOLs with the speakers!"

As soon as they got the details ready, Loki grinned. "Those are some evil. I suggest the simplest thing we do is fake-call him last!"

Thor grinned. "This thing called pranks is amusing me!"

Bruce smirked. "I'll do something to pair with Loki's pranks."

That night, Clint crept into Fury's room and spray-painted everything in pink without the director noticing. When he got the job down, he managed to stifle his laughter before falling into fits of hysteria in his room.

The next morning, when everyone in SHIELD was busy and Fury was just working as usual, he heard the rhythm of music coming from Fury's speakers.

_Now let's learn our ABC's!_

_A-B-C-D…._

"What the hell?!" Fury roared. "This was supposed to be a tutorial on spying! Not an ABC tutorial!"

_E-F-G, H-I-J-K, LMNOP! Q-R-S, T-U-V, W-X, Y and Z!_

_Now we know our ABC's!_

The music was blaring loudly until Coulson heard.

"I didn't know you were into a children's type of thing," Coulson snickered.

"What the f***?!" Fury roared.

"Please do not use excessive profanity, sir," Steve's voice blazed through the speakers as he tried to control his laughing. The ABC song was playing loudly through the background.

"I can say whatever the f*** I wanna say!" Fury growled.

Then Bruce appeared, carrying the documents.

Fury was relieved. Bruce could be trusted, surely. He got the papers and discovered it was a modification of his bio data—except everything was answered as pink.

"Argh! You jerks!" Fury roared. He looked around. Nobody was inside. Suddenly, a pink spray suffocated him unconscious.

A few minutes later, he woke up unaware he now had gloves on his hands that weren't pink and the documents still white.

He looked at the paperwork. "Bullcrup."

The paperwork was filled with the words 'Drink a scotch for every step you make out the bar.'

Fury crumpled the fake paperwork in fury and threw it on the ground. He discovered furthermore his workplace was now pink. Only the other agents' workplaces were unaffected.

"ARGH!"

He looked into a nearby mirror. His face, his eye patch, his clothes, everything was pink.

The pinkest pink.

He was so pink that the Pink Panther would be in shame.

No, he was so, so pink that he would be mistaken as the Pink Panther's pinker brother!

Phil Coulson mindlessly went in. He saw Fury's pink scheme, as well as his furious face.

"Sir," his shoulders shook to prevent his laughing. "I never thought you into _that _sort of thing!"

"Get the hell out!"

Coulson meekly obeyed and as soon as went out, he was into a fit of hysterics.

Suddenly, Fury was hearing loud Pink Panther music in the background.

The room was now dark and a single spotlight went above him.

"Presenting, the Pink Panther!" Tony, Bruce, Steve and Loki's voices became really loud.

"You sons of a b****!" Fury cursed.

* * *

Later, while Fury was still trying to get the pink out of his eye-patch, he heard the phone ring.

"WHAT IS IT?!" He yelled.

"Sir," Loki tried to get his voice extremely low, "your purchases of pink underwear, sparkly ballet costumes and pink popstar outfits have arrived. As you requested, two sexy male dancers are by the door with your purchase."

"What the-?!"

He opened his door and saw a huge sparkling pink box with his name embossed in black. And by the box's sides were two male dancers.

"Sh*t!" Fury roared and slammed his door shut.

He could hear the other SHIELD agents laughing like there's no tomorrow (there won't be a tomorrow for them when Fury is finished with them, though). He knew they saw the pink-stuff-with-dancers-thing.

He let loose a stream of curses. "SHIELD DOES NOT PAY ME ENOUGH!"

* * *

Right in the corridor were Clint, Tony, Loki and Bruce and once they saw their prank making Fury steam, they laughed like it was the end of their world.

**A/N: Two chapters down! And, BTW, this is a twisted plot story, just to remind you later on ;) **


End file.
